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WARNING: This rant reveals key plot points of the recent pilot for the remaike of V. If you haven’t seen the new pilot, you may want to skip this post.

I doubt that there were very many people who were more excited about the recent reboot of V on ABC this week. I still remember being mesmerized by the original mini-series when it premiered back in the 80s, even though I was pretty young at the time. After rewatching the old mini-series a couple of years ago, I became convinced that a remake with today’s effects and better screenwriting could actually improve upon the original premise rather than ruining it. So intense was my  whenever a commercial for the new series came on I would shake with excitement.

So imagine my disappointment when the show wasn’t all I’d hoped it would be.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad. But that was the problem, in my mind, it should have been great and it wasn’t that either. In fact, it had some real script problems, starting with New Yorkers applauding after the aliens arrived and showed a video that basically said, “We come in peace. Take us to your leader.” I’m sorry, but I just have a hard time believing that anyone would applaud after the Independence Day-like terror they’d just gone through. Mostly I think they’d just stand around looking confused. Some would probably shoot at the ships. Others would take advantage and loot the unwatched stores.

Maybe I’m just too cynical.

The other problem is Elizabeth Mitchell’s character. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to see Elizabeth Mitchell in the show since she’s proved herself in Lost, but I’m baffled why they thought it was necessary to make her an FBI agent. Is it just me or is anyone else getting tired of seeing the FBI show up in Sci-Fi shows? First there was 4400 (which also shared one of its stars with the new V–the priest), Fringe, then there was FlashForward, and now there is V. Since when did the FBI become the experts in extra-terrestrial investigation?

But my biggest complaint was the resistance recruiting scene. I know that the writers only had 4 episodes before the show goes on break for the holidays, and I realize that it is an update of an old series so most of the audience already knows that the aliens are actually lizards disguised as humans, and I can see why they wanted to jump-start the notion that not all the V’s are bad, evil creatures, but there had to be a better way to do it than have a guy just spill the beans in one long monologue. That’s just sloppy writing. As I tell my students again, and again: “Show, don’t tell.”

On top of that, they didn’t allow any of the characters to trust the V’s by immediately portraying Anna, the new Diana, as a manipulative witch. Again, it goes back to the “show, don’t tell” idea. Sure, the audience would know they are evil, but couldn’t they at least let the characters buy into them for a little? Whatever happened to exploring humanity’s reaction to this kind of extraordinary event? Some have defended the quick reveals as necessary to capture the short attention span of the “iPod Generation.” But I think that the success of Fringe and Lost and shows like that prove that the new generation are willing to stick with a show as long as the writing is good.

Unfortunately, V just decided to be lazy.

That being said, I did find one part of the speech–actually, one idea in the speech–kind of interesting. It was the part where he was explaining that the Visitors (“V’s” for short) had sleeper agents living among us, infiltrating all levels of government, society, and religion. He said that their mission had been to destabilize the world through pointless wars, economic crises, etc.

So, essentially, he was saying that President Bush, the Pope, and other world leaders are all V’s.

But they didn’t stop there. In an interview with Anna, the V’s leader, she said that they wanted to expand the medical help they were giving to the world so that everyone could have free healthcare. Incredulous, the reporter asked: “You want to give everyone universal healthcare?”

“That’s what you call it, yes.” Anna said.

So, not only was President Bush a V, Obama is one, too! Who then, should we trust?

In the old show, the people to trust were scientists. In the remake, it is far less clear. At first, it seems like it would be either the FBI or God as both are represented in two of the main characters. But with the digs at religion (the Vatican quickly accepts the V’s and the statement that religious leaders are actually V’s) discounts God. And the fact that Elizabeth Mitchell’s partner (a wonderful cameo by Firefly’s Alan Tudyk) turns out to be a V discounts the idea of trusting the FBI. So who do they present instead?

Perhaps ironically, perhaps not, the show seems to suggest that the people to trust are … conspiracy theorists. Yep, the people with the tinfoil hats that live “off the grid” in constant fear that the government or religion or something is gonna get ‘em. Those are the people that are set out as the ones who really know what’s going on. Those are the people to trust. Well, those and traitor V’s who have fallen in love with humanity because … actually, that part wasn’t explained. But still.

Almost in spite of myself, I am curious exactly where they are going with this mess.

One of the most powerful aspects of Science Fiction is arguably its ability to comment on modern society. The original V was a brilliant commentary on the dangers of turning too much power over to the government just because they seem trustworthy. This new one seems to want to do the same thing but can’t seem to find a modern group worthy of following. So in the end, we are left with the kooks.

I wonder what they will do next week.